Hey everyone,
I want to share a powerful tool I often use when I’m feeling lost, down, or lacking motivation.
Colin, our dear friend, passed away at 86 a few years ago. I remember visiting him in the palliative care unit, despite it being the end of his life and him being very sick. He was very positive, still had a sense of humor, and believed he could go home soon to see his dog ‘Bu.’ He always told me, “Celine, don’t work too hard. Don’t take anything seriously. Take it easy.”
Last night, I wrote down some notes reflecting on my life and imagined myself at 93 years old, lying in bed and ready to die, giving younger friends some advice: Looking back, I wish I had done things differently. Here are a few:
Wish #1: I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. My time is precious and won’t come back. Why am I not spending it on myself and enjoying life? After supporting my parents financially for 25 years and just purchasing a home with my partner, I plan to work only three days a week starting in October. I can’t wait for this change.
Wish #2: I wish I had allowed myself to spend money on myself. For years, I sent 50% of my income to my parents, leaving little for my own enjoyment, especially when covering my father’s cancer treatment expenses. I’ve always looked for bargains at the supermarket to save for my parents, and it became a habit. Now, I try not to, but I still find myself looking for sales. Gradually, I will invest in myself, especially in my health, because if I am not healthy, I cannot support my parents. I keep affirming this to remind myself.
Wish #3: I wish I hadn’t taken little things so seriously. For example, small frustrations like reckless drivers, rude behaviors, and comments often upset me unnecessarily. I am learning not to let others control my feelings and emotions, as it doesn’t help me or make me happy. I just let them go.
Wish #4: I wish I had communicated more with my brother. I’ve been avoiding conversations with him for the past five years. I’ve been selfish, seeking a peaceful life by avoiding him. Nowadays, I am trying to talk with him once a week. He is my brother, after all, and I can’t stay away from him. I am going to try integrating him back into my life.
Wish #5: I wish I hadn’t pretended to be someone I’m not. I wish I had been more authentic and true to myself. I often try to present myself as better than I am, which always leaves me feeling empty and dissatisfied with myself.
Wish #6: I wish I had allowed myself to be happier and not taken life so seriously.
Wish #7: I wish I had stayed in touch with friends more regularly. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become lazier about maintaining friendships. I used to think, “They didn’t contact me, so why should I?” Now, I don’t care if my friends don’t reach out. I am taking the initiative by sharing my blog with them and texting them once a week, which helps me interact with them more.
Wish #8: I wish I had spent more romantic time with my partner. I have been focusing too much on personal development rather than dedicating time to my partner, whom I love so much. So, I have decided to have a date night once a week and spend more cuddling time with him.
Wish #9: I wish I hadn’t tried to win all the time, whether in hockey games or conversations with my brother and others. I regret always attempting to prove myself right instead of considering others’ perspectives.
Now, I will follow my wishes. The good news is, I am not 93 years old yet. I have a long way to go. I won’t waste any of my precious time.
After writing down these wishes, I feel more positive, happier, and motivated. Reflecting in this way helps me stay focused on what truly matters in life. Whenever I feel lost or lack motivation, I revisit these wishes and remind myself of my priorities.
I hope this tool can help you live a bit happier.
What are your wishes? Feel free to share them in the comments below.
Leave a Reply