My Journey in Counselling Course #2 – Thought Diary

Last week in my counselling course, I learned about a tool called the thought diary. I found it fascinating and tried it out myself—surprisingly, it worked really well. So, I’d like to share my experience with you.

The purpose of the thought diary is to help people examine their thoughts and challenge the ones that may be unhelpful or distressing.

Here’s how I used it:

🟠 Step 1: Identify the Situation

• I started by writing down the situation that was bothering me, just the facts.
• For example: “I felt distressed after a conversation with my brother.”

🟠 Step 2: Name the Feelings

• I listed the emotions I felt in that moment: stressed, annoyed, angry, upset.
• I chose the strongest one, “angry,” and marked it as my “hot thought.”

🟠 Step 3: Rate the Intensity

• I rated how strongly I felt that hot emotion on a scale from 0 to 10.
• I gave it an 8.

🟠 Step 4: Notice Physical Sensations or Reactions

• I noted how my body and behaviour responded:
  • My heart was beating fast.
  • I was muttering to myself.

🟠 Step 5: Explore the Thoughts

• I asked myself questions like:
  • “What was I thinking?”
  • “What was I telling myself?”
  • “What was going through my mind at that moment?”
• I wrote down all my thoughts and underlined the most distressing one:
  • “He won’t listen to me and will never change.”
• I rated how strongly I believed this thought: 9 out of 10.

🟠 Step 6: Do Some Detective Work

• I looked for factual evidence that supported this thought:
  • He still struggles to control his emotions.
  • He sometimes yells.
  • He often refuses to listen.
  • He insists he’s always right and dislikes being disagreed with.

🟠 Step 7: Look for Evidence Against the Thought

• I asked myself: “What challenges this thought?”
  • He does listen when he’s in a good mood or when he needs something.
  • He has changed compared to five years ago, just not completely.

🟠 Step 8: Dispute the Thought

• I asked a few more reflective questions:
  • “What other ways can I view this situation?”
    → Maybe he feels disappointed in me and finds it hard to trust.
  • “How might someone else see this?”
    → We’ve lived very different lives, which may explain our conflict.
  • “If I wasn’t feeling upset, how would I see it?”
    → I might understand that he’s been in survival mode for so long and may be reacting from past pain.
  • “Does this thought actually help me?”
    → No, it only upsets me and doesn’t change anything.
  • “Realistically, how likely is it that this will never change?”
    → He might not completely change who he is, but he is slowly becoming more open. He listens more now than he used to.

🟠 Step 9: Create a Balanced Thought

• After reflecting on all the evidence, I replaced my original thought with something more balanced:
  • “I haven’t always listened to him either. Maybe I’ve also avoided being open. I can see why he’s closed off to me. I should try to be more patient and curious instead of ignoring him.”

🟠 Step 10: Re-rate the Hot Thought

• I went back and re-rated how much I believed my original hot thought.
• It dropped from 9 to 5.

Final Reflection:
This simple thought diary helped me shift my mindset and understand the situation more clearly. It didn’t erase my emotions, but it made them easier to manage.

What do you think? Have you ever tried something like this?