What Has Helped Me Survive Four Deaths in Four Months

The last four months have been the hardest time of my life.

I’ve experienced four deaths.

Some nights I wake up from nightmares.

Sometimes I have flashbacks.

Sometimes the tears come without me even realising.

I’m still grieving, but these are the simple things that have been helping me.

• Stay connected. I feel much better when I’m with kind people instead of being alone.

• Keep moving. Going to the gym, playing my favourite sport, riding in nature, or even cleaning the house helps. Planning a future camping trip also gives me something to look forward to.

• Focus on giving. Helping others gives me purpose and makes me feel good.

• Protect your peace. I avoid quick fixes like alcohol or pretending I’m okay. I also set boundaries with people who make me feel uncomfortable or pressured.

• Go at your own pace. I don’t force myself to revisit painful memories before I’m ready, and I kindly ask others not to ask me about the deaths until I feel ready to talk.

• Take one day at a time. When sadness comes, I remind myself, “This time will pass.”

One thought has helped me the most:

“One day I’ll look back on this time, and I don’t want to regret spending so much of it suffering.”

So I choose to spend time with people who make me feel safe, do things I enjoy, and focus on today.

I’ve realised that grief is part of love.

But I don’t have to let grief take away the moments I still have today.

Reflection questions:

• If I look back on this time in one year, what would I want to say to myself?

• Is there something I can enjoy today instead of dwelling on the past?

• What is one small thing I can do today that will bring me a little peace?